Internet dating is convenient. You have the luxury of logging onto to your favorite internet dating site whenever you have time. You can weed through hundreds of potential matches in minutes. Dating sites built in organization allows you to keep up with people through various means of communication. It’s no wonder that internet dating is no longer a fad but a legitimate means of find a date!
Spare time is something that most of us have in limited quantity. A common reason for lack of spare time is the presence of children; biology’s little time consumers. Before you misunderstand, let me add that I do NOT have children. Therefore I don’t pretend to have the know-how to write advice of any kind about the perils of single parenting and dating.
I do, however, have single with baby friends and I myself have dipped into the single daddy dating pool once or twice. And from that, I have garnered a little experience about the ins and outs of dating someone with kids, which I now share with you.
Like kids
This should not even have to be mentioned, but unfortunately it does. If you do not enjoy being around kids and you do not want any of your own, think twice before dating someone packing reproductive baggage. There is always a possibility that you will grow attached to and even learn to like these particular children and there is nothing wrong with testing the waters. However, if you do not enjoy children, don’t get attached to your new found sweetie too quickly. His or her children aren’t going anywhere.
Be prepared to be second best at all times
New parents are often overheard saying that they thought they could never love someone more than their spouse; until they had a baby. That new bundle of joy just took over their heart. That’s just the way biology works. Dating someone who has strong emotional ties to someone else, in this case their child(ren), you need to be realistic and put your ego on the back burner. Their children come first, always.
Children have a Mom AND a Dad
Okay, so you’ve met an amazing man. Funny, smart, ambitious and good looking and you’re a smitten little kitten. You just love his adorable 5 year old and wonder of wonders, the little thing thinks you’re okay too. Enter the mom. No, not your sweetie’s mom; the baby mama.
It is rumored that separated parents can, and do, have a very respectful and amicable relationship. Let’s hope that’s the case here so you can breathe a tentative sigh of relief. If no one has ever told you before, be prepared for baggage no matter how well the parents get along. And for the sake of the child, hope and pray that the other parent will always be around for them.
Really, all of these points can be summed up by saying: be secure. That’s the bottom line. Between dealing with still-around exes, coming in second place in your significant others priority list, and dealing with the sometimes bumbling awkwardness of becoming acclimated to dealing with kids, an insecure person will see those insecurities magnified.
If you don’t confront and overcome those insecurities, the relationship won’t last. If you’re lucky, you will find yourself with someone who empathizes with your position, and can hold your hand through the tricky parts.
