Most marriage problems stem from a lack of communication in the marital relationship. While most couples would tell you that they work hard to communicate with their spouse, most spouses feel that there is a lack of communication on their partner’s behalf. This is mostly because from each person’s perspective they believe that they are effectively communicating their point of view, but the information is not being clearly received on the other side.
This is nothing to fear, however, and can be resolved fairly easily. One of the most effective ways to mange this problem is to step up some communication rules that both you and your spouse need to properly follow and at all times, when you want to convey a message to your spouse and want to make sure the message is clearly understood.
1. Use A Talking Object- When one partner is talking the other needs to be quietly listening, and this can only happen when you are taking turns. Most couples will talk over each other, because they are so anxious to make their point and they wind up missing what the other person is saying. Using an object that is held for the purpose of communicating can really help couples take their time to talk and also their time to listen. This object is held by the person who is talking and helps to create an environment where one person has the floor and the other one is just listening.
2. Stay Focused On One Issue At A Time- What often happens when a couple is discussing something, they tend to get off track and bring up issues from the past. This is not a means to effective communication, and is also not what the issue is at the moment. Even if you think that something from the past also relates to what you are discussing, it should still not be brought into the current conversation. If you stay focused on one issue at a time, you will be able to effectively communicate and resolve all issues that you, as a couple, are facing.
3. Think Before You Speak- Attempt to not discuss issues instantly, as an alternative have a waiting period. Generally as something first comes about everybody can be a bit more defensive as well as roused. Making a special day and time to sit down and address issues for the week, serves as a more beneficial way to discuss situations. After a brief time has elapsed you’ll in all probability be better capable to converse about the issue without converting the communicating into a fired up confrontation.
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